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Northwestern European males are a special breed; highly analytical and reserved, pondering their past mistakes and bad experiences with women as soon as someone throws them a flirtatious glance -- this is true even of the extroverts and easiest-going ones among them. "He likes rollerblading, sunset walks on the beach, baseball, and ice cream, and so do I!! Bonding isn't about making a silk purse out of a sows ear.All around them they see people engaging in a meaningless ritual called dating: going to the movies, going to dinners, wiggling around like a worm, gyrating their hips to some thudding "music," then "falling madly in love" after three months of "dating," and rushing off to get married. " Every so often our Norseman notices someone with a nice-looking ass -- but it's hard to get too excited about just an ass, isn't it? Most of us have fallen in love once -- often in adolescence or college. It was as if we imprinted on them so completely -- eventually, his flaws didn't matter. Its about finally realizing, in wonderment, the rough, uncut Hope Diamond that lays before you.
The Mystery of Bonding The fact is, dating sucks the way its done today; it snuffs out love between us. She was very fine, for all her ragged clothes and Cockney accent.
Love has nothing to do with "dating" and a lot to do with ROMANTIC BONDING, slowly over a period of time. In the beginning Professor Higgins didn't care much about young Eliza. Love is bonding that happens most easily in youth -- not because love is a naïve youthful thing and the "smart" "mature" thing is to be a cynical robot -- but because young women tend to be virgins who withhold sex from you, long enough for you to fall in love with them.
She was nothing more than a scientific experiment, to prove to his colleagues he could take a healthy, vigorous, clean-hearted Cockney gutter-snipe and make her into an aristocrat. All alone again in his gloomy study it begins to sink in. This BONDING happens suddenly -- almost overnight -- after a long period of initial infatuation, sexual frustration, talking, flirtation, unrequited lust, friendship, heating up and cooling off -- spending time together, basically -- in situations that enable bonding to occur.
He sneers, Eliza didn't speak very good English, but he changed that. She was his Pygmalion Project -- his attempt at sculpting a real woman into his ideal. She tried hard to improve, and eventually caught on; she was a good, hardworking girl. Very rarely people fall in love more quickly, in situations of high stress.
She didn't know what to say in social situations, he taught her how. Extreme stress makes people more likely to fall in love: wars, social alienation, the college swindle, high school, starting a business, mountain climbing, wilderness survival trips.
Chapter #5: The Art of Bonding Most men settle far too easily because they say they're "in love." (Sure.) You know, the good-looking man trailing a fat cow at the grocery store; the hardworking blue-collar man whose wife is a slob and spends all his money; the cold skinny rich-bitch who refuses to have any kids.
Most men are Social Driftwood, who get hitched to the first tramp who smiles at them a few times, or crawls into bed with them.Living life with a woman (or women) NOT of high quality is a drag.In my experience, the kind of man who reads VNN has a different problem entirely.Your problem is, that your standards are very high.You are highly intolerant, demanding, and idealistic (which is good, but) You judge too quickly, and give up too quickly.Like my good friend Lord Darcy, you look down your nose at every woman you meet, conveniently ignoring your own shortfalls.